identification crisis

I had a bit of an identification crisis this past year... by a bit i mean major... it lasted for a full year!

If you think I am talking about an identity crisis you are sadly mistaken. I have never had an identity crisis in my life! Unfortunately, this was much worse than having an identity crisis. I'm talking about not having a single piece of identification for an entire year. I didn't have a passport, driver's license, health card or any other official document that legally made me Aaron Surty. Those that know me well would not be surprised. Those that don't know me... well... this is how I am. I functioned perfectly fine without one. I used my credit card to get into bars. If they wouldn't let me in.. even better because that was an excuse not to go! I understand the difference between needing and wanting. Eventually (after about a year) I needed some ID in order to cross the border into the states so I could go to lolapalooza with friends. Thats what the rest of this blog post is about - what I have come to call my quest for the holy ID.

A month before my trip I went to the Ontario driver license building and told them I wanted to switch my license back from Alberta to Ontario... and get a new card while I'm at it! They asked me for my birth certificate. Okay. Check. I have that because I had them mail me a replacement (I had lost that as well). Then they asked me for my old Alberta license but I told them I didn't have it.. I lost it. So they told me I had to go to the main office because that is where they handle cases such as this. So, I hopped into a taxi (I was starting to get very late for work) and headed to the main office. At the main office I was met by a receptionist who ensured I had all the necessary information in order to obtain the license and then gave me a number to wait in line. One hour later I am told that I can't get my license without some proof from the Alberta government that I had a license there. Soooo I go to work with a phone number that the license office lady gave me. I call the alberta number to ask for the letter of proof... they tell me that I need to send them a letter signed by a lawyer from Toronto to prove that I am who I say I am. So a few weeks pass and I've finally worked up enough energy to go to the lawyer's office.. so I go. And guess what? They tell me they can't sign it because I don't have any ID!!!!!!!! I'm baffled. Here I am asking them to sign a piece of paper in order to go get my ID... and they tell me they won't sign it because I don't have any ID!! Isn't that a catch 22? So now I have to go to my dad's lawyer's office (embarrassed) because he is the only lawyer in town willing to sign the paper. What would I do if my dad did not know a lawyer?
Several months go by... I get the paper signed, send it off to Alberta, receive the new paper from Alberta saying I have a drivers license there. I go back to the ontario licensing office... go to the front desk and proudly show the old man my new paperwork and tried to politely point out his error in letting me pass last time. The old man, however, did not understand this and just said.. 'yes yes.. you have all the paperwork you need.. now get in line'. One hour and fifteen minutes pass. I'm up. I proudly show the licensing lady my new letter from Alberta.

Okay thats great. So where is your id?

I don't have any........ thats why I'm here... why doesn't anyone understand that????

Well... I can't give you your license without you proving you are who you say you are....

you have to get this form here signed by a lawyer....

GREAT! Are there any other forms or letters I need? I have already been here once. I would like to make third times a charm!

This is where the lady proceeded to laugh at me. (And where I have come to the conclusion that government workers are sadistic)